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Are you a pervert?

Sunday, September 30, 2007
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/w4m/436484580.html

Typical guy seeks perverted girl - 32


Reply to: pers-436484580@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-30, 7:01PM CDT


On the pervert scale, the average guy is pretty perverted. That means that when someone goes out of their way to call a guy perverted, he must be really creepy. So I'm about average on the pervert scale, not creepy, even attractive, nice, smart, etc..., but I find many girls to be just too uptight, not adventurous or open-minded enough, just not all that fun. And when I say that I want a pervert, it's not just about sex. If you look up perverted, it just kind of means abnormal, which means different, which means unique.
So yeah, I'm looking for a perverted girl. In sexual ways, yes, but in every other way too. Know what I mean?



  • Location: Minneapolis
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 436484580


There can only be one...

Sunday, September 23, 2007
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/tpa/409930561.html


Survival Of The Fittest


Date: 2007-08-30, 2:03PM EDT


Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.


  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 409930561

Wonder what else was up there.....

Monday, September 10, 2007
http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/cas/418946500.html

Need to sell my exboyfriends porn!!! - w4mm - 21


Reply to: pers-418946500@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-10, 4:06PM EDT


i kicked my boyfriend out i'm moving and need to sell a attic full of boxes of porn. ggw dvd's, playboys, penthouse, leg show, tight, 40+, pregnant and lactating. he is a sick puppy. sold buy the box or take all I do'n have time to email tag so leave your number and what your interested in, and the best time to reach you. thanks ;)


















  • Location: Hauppauge
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 418946500

Manly men~

Sunday, September 9, 2007
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bos/367672638.html

Through being cool


Date: 2007-07-06, 9:16AM EDT


I grew up in Australia. Australian men generally accept masculinity far better than American men, and I understand why this is. In every country on earth where boys play, there is a ritual of selecting members of each team, whether the game is soccer, cricket, football, baseball, kickball, mammoth-hunting, what have you. Most boys, at some time, have experienced the humiliation of being picked last, and it hurts. Even being picked second-last is much more tolerable than being picked last. It hurts— what is important, and culturally distinct, is how the boy deals with that pain and humiliation, when he's the one picked last.

In Australia, boys strive to be an asset to the team that picks them. They actually care more about how their team does than how they feel. This isn't ego annihilation, and it's not fascism. While playing the game, the game is what's important, not one's own petty issues. If a boy can table his own issues sufficiently to make a good catch, or kick a goal, he'll get picked sooner next time. He knows this. It's a question of priorities: the team wants to win, and they will pick those kids who will make it more likely that their team will win. How each individual feels during this process is irrelevant to the overall goal. Be dependable, be an asset to the team, and the rest of the team will take care of you.

In Australia, there is the concept of mates. The word loosely translates as "friend", but the truth is that Americans lack the concept completely. Your mate has your back, and you have his. Your mates help define you, and accept you unconditionally. Once you're in, you're in for life. It's not easy to get in. When I was nine, I had a kid who used to annoy me mercilessly on the playground. One day, I had had enough of his picking on me, and I knocked him over with a punch. He got up, shook himself off, and shook my hand. "We're having a party this weekend. Here's where it is."

I was still really angry, and I didn't immediately understand what he was doing. He wanted to know that I would stick up for myself when provoked. He needed to know if, after he was my mate, I'd stand up for him. Once he found out that I'd stand up for myself, I was in. At that party, everyone there treated me like a mate, and I felt more included than I ever did before, and I never got selected last for any game again at that school.

American boys don't have this. The best have a much weaker version of this, but the commitment is conditional and halting, the bonds constantly tested by vicious games of conformity and obedience. Maybe men at war have the real thing, but I have no experience of this. Coming back to the USA, I had to teach my male friends to be mates, and it never came naturally to any of my new friends. I have American mates now, some of whom I've been friends with for twenty years, but it took an enormous amount of work, and included really rocky periods, and a lot of struggle. New people I meet, especially younger people, have no understanding of what it means to be a mate. Friendships, especially among young people, are temporary, fleeting, strategic. They exist in order to jockey for social position. American men seem treacherous, insecure, and ungrounded in comparison to Aussie men. It's killing us as a society. It's one of the great tragedies of our time.

When an American boy gets picked last at a game on the playground, he gives up on ever being selected by the other boys, except last. He retreats into self-pity and misanthropy. This is encouraged by the adults, especially his parents, doubly especially when his dad made the same choices about being picked last himself. This boy tries to create a new playing field where he is the top of the selection. Because he knows he cannot compete on the playing field, he tries to compete in intellectual pursuits, or in a fantasy world, or in fandom. He collects comic books, or plays Dungeons & Dragons, or plays video games. Maybe he learns science, or literature, or art, or music. It never occurs to him to strive to improve himself, to make himself an asset to the team that might choose him. It never occurs to him that a drama is unfolding on a level bigger than that of his individual ego.

When adolescence hits, this boy tries to be cool. He creates a new pecking order based around musical taste, or fashion, or obscure knowledge. He tries out for the school play, or joins the debate team, or starts a band, or joins the school's literary magazine, and tries to win approval through his creativity and intelligence. There is nothing inherently wrong with seeking approval through these channels, but the boy still has a chip on his shoulder about rejection. He strives to create not merely a new selection where he is on top, but a new selection where the kids who are successful at the old games are rejected here. He seeks to be even crueler than he thinks those other kids are— to cut them down before they can hurt him again. He doesn't realize that being rejected from the alternative he has just created doesn't hurt at all, really. His ego depends upon being top of some pecking order, even an imaginary one, and he will viciously defend his new status, especially by being cruel to those who are lower down on his new pecking order. He becomes an asshole, but it's everyone else's fault but his.

Ultimately, this is what it means to be cool, to be indie, to be avant-garde, to be hip. As a young punk rocker, I was saved from this insanity because I grew up in a small town where weirdos got their asses beat. In order to be weird, you had to band together and watch each other's backs. We had to trust each other in a fight, or we'd all get stomped. It was ugly, it was nasty, and it was exhausting, but at the end of the day, you really knew who your friends were. A realistic selection sprung up based on whether you were worth saving when everyone got jumped by rednecks. You sized up new potential friends for their value in dragging you out from under a half dozen pairs of steel-toed Doc Martins when the Nazi skinheads broke up your hardcore show. (I like traditional skinheads, but the Nazi skins suck ass). When the bored, redneck small-town cops harassed us for being weird, you needed to know your friends had your back when you split up and ran.

The point is that every boy and every man needs to know his friends chose him. It's hard-wired into our brains. We need to know that we were worth picking, that we're valued for what we contribute to the people around us. We need it in our jobs, in our friendships, and in our relationships. Those boys and men who never get chosen, who never become the people anyone would want on their side, are damaged goods. They're not really cool, they're undeveloped. No tattoo or piercing, no leather jacket or pair of glasses, no boots or records or novels or comic books or mp3s or posters or t-shirts; no commodity of any kind is going to make a pair of balls occur where they wouldn't anyway.

We live in an advertising culture where we are constantly told that the only thing that stands between our current state and wholeness is a particular commodity. It's the central lie of our culture, and the people who hate mainstream culture the most seem to cling to this lie the most intensely. Notice how many "alternative" people define their non-conformity by how readily they conform to an alternate standard? How they buy objects that articulate their rebellion for them? It has become so ingrained in our culture that the current crop of teenagers makes no distinction between consumption and expression. They are frustrated that consumption alienates them from their own feelings and desires, but they express that frustration by consuming more commodities. It's a vicious circle. Let go. Quit being cool.



  • Location: Somerville
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 367672638

It's magic, not technology...

Friday, September 7, 2007
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/mis/381354444.html


To the cute redhead at the segway tours - m4w


Reply to: pers-381354444@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-25, 7:41AM CDT


Hi, I was on a tour last Saturday where you were bringing up the rear. I was there with my folks who were visiting from out of town. We talked for a bit (you commute to work on a bike and hate it when people call it "The U") but I never got your number. Trying to ride a segway for the first time while my parents watch apparently puts a pretty big dent in my game (not that I had much to start with). So, on the off chance you see this, drop me a line, as you seem pretty cool.






  • Location: St Anthony Main
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 381354444

Do you need help?

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/stp/415726860.html

Caucasian Sperm Donor willing to help - m4w - 32


Reply to: pers-415726860@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-09-06, 4:45PM CDT


Hi. A little about me: I'm an athletic white male, 32 years old, with brown hair and brown eyes and I'm 6 feet tall. I have 20/20 vision and I have no STD's whatsoever. I have fathered two beautiful children and I have pictures to prove it if you wish to see proof. I'm presently in grad school and I am maintaining a 4.00 grade point average. My family history includes two parents who are still living in their 60's. My grandparents lived well into their 80's and 90's. I have no known family history of genetic diseases or maladies as well. I have a pretty good sense of humor and an easy going personality also.

I look forward to hearing more from you soon.

  • Location: Twin Cities
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 415726860

http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/stp/415726860.html

Why get two blizzards when you can have one?

Thursday, September 6, 2007
http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/stp/401940321.html


HELP!!!!!! I need someone to help me use my DQ buy 1 get 1 free coupon - 18


Reply to: pers-401940321@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-20, 8:24PM CDT


Hello, I have a buy 1 get 1 free coupon for DQ, but i dont really want two ice creams. Instead, I was hoping someone will go with/meet me to get ice cream at DQ. We will split costs 50/50 so the total will be $2.03 for a medium blizzard. If you want, we will just meet there, split the cost and part ways or we could have a deep conversation. I don't really care as long as I have my discounted blizzard. Email me at dqfan1@gmail.com.

In case you were wondering, I am not overweight (if i was I wouldn't be posting, I'd be eating 2 blizzards)

Tom :)















  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 401940321